best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
