Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
