and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
