well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
