Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When are your genitals available?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
