He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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