The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
