Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
