Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
