is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize