Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
