Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
