If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
