addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
