I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
