I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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