He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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