It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
