I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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