i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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