Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hippo gnu deer
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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