to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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