i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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