The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
