she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
