That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
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Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize