6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
