the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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