i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
