found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
