I want to have your abortion
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
