He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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