This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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