Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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