But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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