oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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