he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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