you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
