I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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