At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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