Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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