i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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