i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want her autograph on my taint
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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