i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
