this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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