we have officially lost it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I understand Curling. That high.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
