I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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