Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
