I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
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