a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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