i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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