So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
