My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
