i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
