gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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