shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
