Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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