Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize