Whoa Z and x make the same sound
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
