she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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