I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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