Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what day is it and did you see me today?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
