I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
