He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
