is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
