so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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